I may have just roped you in with such a title or maybe you’re
just that bored. Recently, I have been thinking about why I never get things
done, why I have such little motivation to act but such huge aspirations and
goals. I don’t use my time well. An average day is spent flicking from social
network, to one-a-day t-shirt website, to fantasy football site and repeated. I
don’t actually do anything most days, I while the time away on avoiding action.
After reading Murakami I have realised that it is Discipline
that I lack. Maybe I’m underconfident too but that’s an issue that stems from a
fear of trying so hard and failing anyway – if I don’t try how can I fail? – or
perhaps a better word is cowardice. Murakami is a writer who has ran pretty
consistently for most of his life, on average six miles a day. He’s also a
famous novelist.
What he argues is that you need to strengthen the body and
mind to write and as I want to run and write then that’s what I’m going to need
to do. It won’t be easy whipping myself into shape, I’m 17 stone at the moment
and so running whilst carrying an extra four stones than I should be makes it
quite exhausting. I cycle a lot but cycling isn’t great for weight loss, at
least I don’t do it enough or eat healthily enough to make it so. I want to
start (from tomorrow of course, everything is always tomorrow) running 4 days a
week and writing for an hour a day. Murakami wrote something that really
bothered me.
I’ve put off writing because I have a perfect idea of what
my novel should be. What he states is that running is not about perfection, it’s
about doing it in the same way you don’t need to write about something, you can
write about nothing. I can’t go on just putting things off and saying tomorrow
and doing nothing the next day. I hate that I have such poor discipline and
wonder if I can fix it.
Whilst doing a research essay I came across an article that
states that writers need to be a little arrogant, in that you assume that your
writing is worth reading and good enough to be above every other unpublished
writer that has a manuscript on a pendrive. I have always been overcritical of
my writing and perhaps that needs to stop. If can stop being so self-loathing
about my mistakes then maybe I can write past them and start to relish the idea
of writing. Murakami says that you should stop writing right at the point you
feel you can write more, that way it will be easier to start the next day. I’m
going to try this.
Oh, and I suppose I’ll try and stop flicking over Facebook
and the rest, once a day will suffice. Of course I will break this rule. I
think the running will help my need for human contact, self-improvement usually
fills that void in my chest that’s constantly trying to expand. Always end on a
high.
So that's why he's so keen on running!
ReplyDeleteReally interesting this, was it based on an article?
I want to say don't be so hard on yourself, but if it's producing such a great impetus for change then alls I'll say is all the best :D
It's Murakami's "What I talk about when I talk about running" which we read in the Wednesday class. I can relate to a lot of what he's saying in regards to running and isolation and I definitely recommend it
ReplyDeleteHey Jordan - discovered your blog by following a trail back from Martin's :)
ReplyDeleteHave you read much of Murakami? I haven't read the running one, but I've got through a few of his novels. Think he's fantastic. Quite David Lynchian in some of them.
It sounds like a good idea - stopping when you could carry on. Getting started is the problem I always have. I think the MA adds pressure as well, I find. Instead of just doing it, I keep second guessing what I'm going to do which then makes it harder again. So far all I've done is edit and rework stuff I already had, and have written about 200 words of a new story since starting the course. Not good.
Arrogance is a necessity I think. Even false arrogance. I'm going to pretend whatever crap I write is great so I can at least get it out and then come back to it and write it properly later. Let me know how the physical discipline goes. I'll report back on my psychological self-deception technique :D
regarding running, i downloaded a free app called something like davina's fitness and it works you up gradually, i could easily cycle for miles, but the result now is calves that my boots just about fit over, rock solid muscle but no actual weight loss, anyway it builds you up 2 minutes walking then 30 seconds jogging, up until the point of running, you can have itunes playing in the background too, worth a shot rather than jumping straight into and failing. x
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